R.H. Edmonton

 

 

Being a dad RH, is really about choosing, (in as many moments of your life as is possible), to be conscious and present in your child’s life. Looking at our society today it seems to me that we have swung out to two extremes. On one end we have men who have abandoned any responsibility to their children while on the other there are men who are actively living out their second childhood ‘helicoptering,’ through their child’s lives. The middle zone is sparsely populated.  

 

Men today are having a hard time understanding how to be fathers, which is ironic because for so long the role was assumed automatically with little thought. As parents, typically men and women want to be better than the generation before them; with most tending to parent based on what was missing versus what was provided. Given you haven’t had a dad in your life you’re going to have to shape your fathering style based on your child’s development and needs plus your own understanding of your values and principles as a man. I’ve heard it said that the greatest impact of fathering on a child’s life is the setting of a solid foundation of life purpose and direction, clear decision making, firm personal values, self-identity and conviction. While mothering teaches a child that he is loved unconditionally and belongs; fathering gives the child the strength to believe in himself and his decisions despite challenge and adversity. A special note here about love and parenting: You are going to be your child’s primary source of information about how men give and receive love; especially love exchanged with a spouse or partner.

 

No man on the planet is a perfect dad RH. What makes a great dad is a man humble enough to learn how to be his best. The process of becoming your best is going to be your life’s greatest challenge if you let it.   To give your child your best is going to require you to tap into your own inner child and acknowledge, feel, and accept what was missing and available to you in your   ‘fatherless’ upbringing. The stories and pain in this process is what in my view drives many men to shrink away from being courageous fathers. The legacy of that shrinking back factor RH will be obvious to you RH so, perhaps its time for the buck to stop here, with you.