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My Wife Is Scared To Drive with Me
Author : Dale Curd, Guy Talk Category : Mens Health
Q. My wife is scared to drive with me. She says I drive like a maniac. I think she’s overreacting – I live in a busy city and I have to drive the way I do to get anywhere – how do I get my wife to see my point of view?
A. By driving like a human being. I want you to imagine that you are strapped into a 2000 kilogram killing machine which is hurtling through space at great speeds, swerving periodically and the driver behind the wheel is intent on getting from point A to point B as fast as possible, rather than as a safe as possible. Perhaps you’re a thrill junkie and this scenario would appeal to you but for most people this situation brings up an enormous amount of fear and panic. Generally speaking, people don’t like being out of control – which is the experience your wife is having every time she sits beside you in the car. You also don’t like being out of control – which is why you’re driving like a maniac – you can’t stand to let other people, especially other drivers, determine when and how you are going to arrive at your destination.
Creating a situation whereby someone you supposedly care about is afraid to be with you is insanity. Where fear exists in a relationship, there’s no hope for trust, caring, or love to develop. So while you may be winning the battle of getting where you want to go you’ve lost your wife’s trust and faith in you that you will take care of her. And once she believes you don’t care for her you are most certainly done for.
So grow up and start driving like you’re carrying precious cargo because you are. Experts agree it takes more skill to drive defensively than to drive aggressively. Any twenty year old can hammer the pedal to the floor but it takes maturity and respect to successfully and safely navigate our roads. And if driving has become the only way you vent your frustration, perhaps it’s time to give someone, like myself, a call so you can learn to express that stored up anger in ways where you don’t hurt yourself and jeopardize the lives of those around you.
Dale Curd is a counselor and a leading authority on men. He helps clients individually, in groups, and on GuyTalk, Sunday evenings at 9 p.m. (EST) on NEWSTALK 1010. Email Dale your questions at dale@dalecurd.com, or twitter.com/dalecguyexpert.
